Anger

I used to be so angry when I'd think of him and the things he did and didn't do. I used to be so angry thinking about the feelings of abandonment and lies. I used to feel so angry about giving 90 and never even getting ten. It took me awhile to let go of it all, to realize that he would never regret and realize how good he had it. How perfect his life was and how happy he could have been. He never knew what it was to work hard for things or what it meant to put effort in to build. He would speak so much about self growth, but never had much to show for it, himself. He placed himself upon a pedalstewl to feel good about his short comings. If only he had dreams, and desires, instead of illusions and thoughts of play. I used to be so angry, when now all I feel for him is pity and hope that one day he will grow and become something more. It is easy to allow someone to consume all of your emotions, it is even easier to want someone to fill a void. It is the basis of every relationship to want acceptance and love. He never gave me that, and I forgot that I the holder of it all didn't need anyone to give me that, but myself. If there is any anger I feel now it is at myself for allowing a man to have such power over me. To all the fathers out there, be good to your daughters.